People who hit parked cars are mean

So I see it’s been like, 7 months or so since I’ve bothered to post anything here, which was never my intent but I feel like I can’t/shouldn’t post at work, or write about it, and since work is consuming my mind these days (and has for quite some time) this really limits my ability to write about anything else.  For now, though, maybe just leaving work things off the table completely and trying to update on the many other things going on would at least allow me to post SOMETHING.  Because I am a narcissist, and part of the point of writing is to chronicle what’s gone on in my life, and by not posting I really do a terrible job of that. 

For Fourth of July weekend, Jeff and I cleaned up the patio in our new house (!!!) and pulled weeds around the rose bushes.  The weeds were taller than the roses and it literally looked like a jungle on our little strip of dirt.  After four hours of  work (you may be unimpressed but the patio is only 250 square feet at most), the patio was clean, the rose bushes were weeded, and our door mat was actually in front of the door (instead of covered with leaves in the middle of the patio). 

I’ve taken quite a few pictures of our new place, which I should post–if I make another post sometime in the next six months or so.  That’s really pushing it for me but I’ll try to make it happen.

The other highlight of this weekend was when some stranger HIT MY CAR while it was PARKED (I guess it was in their way, huh?).  No note, just a nice dent and paint scraped off my bumper, and me left to pay my large deductible when I get it fixed.  For the most part I am much less upset about it then I would normally expect myself to be, but it annoys me to no end that someone would do this and not own up to it.  If they were uninsured–which may be the case as so many are in Phoenix–I wouldn’t have pursued anything, as my own insurance will cover it, but I would have appreciated an apology at the very least.  The upside is that I will get to rent a car while it’s in the shop (downside is that this costs more money), but it will probably be new and smell nice and it’s fun to drive a car that’s not yours.  At least I can pretend to be an optimist in this situation.

The other big news (and it is BIG) is that Jeff and I are getting married in October!  We’ve been engaged since January but since I haven’t posted since before then, I never mentioned it.  I have no extremely cute engagement story–we talked about getting married, decided to do it, and went shopping for a ring so I could pick it out myself.  He did, however, still “ask” me even though he already knew my answer.  We were watching House and he asked me on a commercial break.  It was cute, and the ring is beautiful.

Finally, and yes, there is more, Jeff will be doing his residency in Psychiatry here in Phoenix! Which means we don’t have to move and my family is happy! He’s actually already started and has been working for a few weeks.  He is extremely busy all day while he is there, but he seems to really like it so far and always has a lot to talk about when he gets home from work.

I have been extremely lucky in my experience with Jeff, him being in medical school and now (for a few weeks) being in residency.  Jeff has always been honest about how he feels and I’ve always known that he cared about me.  Meeting him in his fourth year of school was also lucky–it is just not as demanding as the first three years, and we had plenty of time to be together.  Now that he is in psychiatry I feel relieved.  His lifestyle in residency won’t be too bad.  For the most part, he gets home at the same time (or earlier) than me, and he will only be on call once a week.  So our lifestyle (which consists of us sitting on the couch watching TV, or sitting at our computers on the internet) won’t be affected very much.  I guess I just wanted to say this for the people who have found this site because they are also dating medical students.  My experience has been extremely tame and I have not had to sacrifice very much.  Jeff makes me feel like a priority and I don’t feel like I come second to his career.  If he had gone into a different specialty I probably wouldn’t feel the same way–surgery, for example.  He’d be working a lot more and I’d probably feel neglected.  That doesn’t mean that those relationships can’t work, but the experience would be a lot more difficult than mine has been.  There’s no one-size-fits-all rulebook for dating medical students/residents/doctors that is different from everybody else.  It might be difficult, it might not be.  It might work out, it might not.  Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.  That’s the best chance anybody has in a relationship.

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Things just keep getting better and better

…if by that I mean worse and worse.

I’ve refrained from posting because the only things I could think of to post about involved me complaining about something that I could not control. But after days and days of thinking, the only things that come to mind are things that involve Whining, Complaining, and Bitching, so I have accepted this as my M.O. And now, my list of things that suck or have gone wrong this past week:

1. Internet and cable out. For four days. I had to add the cable protection “insurance” to avoid paying $50 in case my self-install was bad. (Impossible, since it worked for two months prior to the outage.) Upside: my very nice BF volunteered to meet the repairman at my apartment while I was at work.

2. Internet went out again Friday. This time I had moved the modem into the living room so that I could connect my new Xbox to it. I called the cable company and after walking through some troubleshooting with me, they told me my modem must be bad. Um, ok. So I bought a new modem, hooked it up, activated it, then tried to put it in the living room. It didn’t work. Called the cable company a third time. This time they mention an outage in my area and told me to wait. The new modem started working moments after I got off the phone, so I tried the old one again (and made a fourth call to the cable company to enable it). It worked. I wasted hours on this crap.

Upside: I was able to return the second modem, and after all that, I am online on my Xbox.

3. BF is starting an ER rotation and has to work 9-9. It’s only 3 days a week, but one of them is Saturday (and another one Friday) which aligns really poorly with my M-F, 9-5 schedule. I can’t think of an upside to this right now. We’ve become spoiled: he’s had extremely easy rotations since we met, basically, and we spend every free moment together. I know I’m being a huge baby about this, but it stinks, and I’ll miss the schedule we’ve had lately. I hope the month goes quickly (yes, it’s only a month, so I will survive).

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Dating in medical school, part 2

I am not the only person who has searched for information about dating in medical school. Since my post yesterday, I have had several hits (um, my first), all the result of searches about that exact topic. In honor of that I wanted to add one more thought:

When people like each other they will make time for each other, whether they are medical students, residents, or just regular dumb people. Medical students and residents may have LESS free time than the rest of us, but they do have some. If they’re not giving you any of it, they’re probably not into you (to use that clichéd phrase from that dumb book).

Medicine, like anything else in life, needs to be balanced with other things (relationships, family, hobbies), otherwise you will go insane. Luckily, BF totally gets that, and I never have to demand him to spend time with me.

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The truth about dating a medical student.

When I first started dating my boyfriend, I scoured the Internet to find as much information as I could. I wanted to know what it was like to date someone in medical school. Would it just be a waste of time? Do these things ever work out?

The information I found was less than useful. “Date a medical student if you’re ok with never seeing your significant other.” Thanks for the warning.

Having said that, I have never felt neglected in my relationship. He makes time for me. I don’t feel like he is exceptionally busy, and we have been through several big tests since we met. It probably helps that I work full time and go to school part time. I am busy myself.

Next year might be a different story. He’ll be a resident then, working insane hours. I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.

The primary worry right now isn’t really how busy he will be but WHERE he will be. Residency matching is one of the most convoluted systems I have ever heard of. I really want to stay here, but that may not happen. I spent this afternoon researching the places he said he was interested in. Some seem ok. I’m still not thrilled with the idea of moving, but there are other places that have affordable nursing programs, and even competitive entry for ADN programs (usually BSN programs are competitive but ADN programs have long waiting lists).

I am calm now but I was freaking out a few hours ago. His application has to be in in just two short weeks. I didn’t realize it was so soon. If he ends up having to leave as a result of this crap process, I have two not-great choices: move with him or lose him. Ok, there is a third choice: long distance. But when does that ever work?

I’ll just keep hoping for the best. If he ends up here then all of my worrying was for nothing.

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